Was at half night corporate prayer meeting in my church yesterday. My oh my… it turned out quite unexpectedly, I would say. Next time I go for any prayer meeting, I’ll make sure I carry a packet/box of tissue with me. I was crying three quarters of the time, being searched by God, within my innermost being. I mean, when you ask Him to search you, it’s really quite an experience. Unpleasant, initially when I was confronted with all my sins and how sinful I am as a human. As the process deepens, there’s just no turning back because it’s just so deep that I had to let go and allow Him to do that deep work within me.
Of course, when God searches… He always finds the issue that He wants to deal with. But the way He deals with it, has never been the conventional way of how humans deal with issues. Human beings tend to blame, and shift the focus onto something else, but God brings it in the light, where the darkness has to flee from it.
The most important aspect of the way God dealt with me, was with the power of the cross. Forgetting the meaning of the cross, and what Jesus did for me was something that I had lost. I have to admit, when it was brought to my remembrance, yesterday night… everything else just faded away. There was no need to reason, no need to fight, no need to say anything. What’s left to do is just, remember. The punishment that He took, in my place. What He gave to me, no one could ever do. The thought of that just blows my mind and of course, opens up flood gates. Flood gates of tears, and most importantly, flood gates of praise. I worshipped the Lord, like never before, after being re-redeemed. Indeed, Hallelujah! Jesus is alive! Not only in the world, but in me.
Other than dealing with the sin in my life, He brought about comfort in my ministry. Two things:
1. Cell
Well, it’s been about 7 months since I’ve moved here to Cheras. Every week, I would travel down to Subang for my Cell Group, as I’m the Assistant Cell Leader in the SS19A College Cell. So, week in, week out I would drive down all the way, braving jams [ sometimes ], and yeah… it’s been a sacrifice on my part. There hasn’t been much appreciation from the members to what I’ve been giving to the cell, and it didn’t bother me till recently. I admit, I have not done beyond the essentials, keeping the cell alive and such because other than that, it’s just too much to commit to! Yesterday, I was reminded that the only recognition and appreciation that matters, come from the Lord. He sees my sacrifice, and He knows it. Basically, yesterday was also a night of venting my frustrations, venting the feelings pent up within me. Good time crying too, on this.
2. Worship Ministry
The word came again, yesterday from Ps. Julie. Creativity, the spirit of worship, the river of God flowing through. I’ve gotta get down to writing SONGS sooon.
God, there’s just nothing that I can do, except to just love You for everything. Thank You Lord.
David[hmmm]
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