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Did more thinking today. This time, it’s about a particular issue that has never crossed my mind, but I find myself in it inevitably.

It’s about adulthood. I’ve been thinking a bit on it, but somehow, it’s just questions after questions that keep popping up.

1. What is adulthood? Is it a definition that is related to age? Or is it based on something subjective, like maturity or abilities of a particular person?

2. How should an adult be like? How should an adult behave? What goes through the mind of an adult? Are there certain rules or guide on the way an adult should think? What makes an adult different compared to a matured young man in train of thought, concerns, and feelings? How do I be an adult?

3. How would being an adult change the way things are around me? How would it affect my ministry now? Would being an adult in my situation help?

David[hmmm]

PS: I hope all the adults [ hmm, or those who claim/refer to themselves as an adult ] will leave a comment. It would be deeply appreciated. Remember to leave your name too.

EDIT : Some of the replies I got from my previous blog

Chet : I think adulthood is a journey, not a destination, a lifelong experience. We don’t become adults overnight, it’s an ongoing process, and we can also lapse into childish behaviour.To me, adulthood is also being responsible and accountable for your choices, decisions and actions.

To a certain extent, adulthood is also financial independence.

Myself : Hey Chet. Thanks for the input. I think to a certain extent, an individual has to decide to become an adult. Making that decision can come overnight, but becoming a real adult is a journey. I understand.

Chet : Sometimes circumstances have a hand in adulthood, so it may not be something for us to decide to be overnight. For example, the death of a family’s sole breadwinner, leaving the eldest son to take over. I suppose a decision is involved here - to be a man or to run away - but it’s a decision thrust upon him, that he may have preferred to make later on, or not at all.

jeyadev : Hi David. Jeyadev @ KVPUG here I do consider myself an adult.
1. /me considers an adult someone who thinks and behaves in a mature manner. I can’t give examples here.

2. What goes thru the mind of an adult… hmm… how will what I say and do affect others around me. is that too vague? :) how to be an adult… well, look at a child and do what they don’t.

3. I don’t know you that well David, so can’t help on this on.

For more help, do watch the movie “To Sir With Love” and “To Sir With Love 2″. Sidney Poitier does explain what an adult is in both movies… I really found his thoughts instructive.

Myself : Hi jeyadev. Nice of you to drop by. How old are you?
Anyway, to answer your replies…

1. What difference does that make to a responsible mature 20 year old, who, through time has grown ahead of his age?

2. Don’t really get you… But at the end, are you saying that an adult cannot behave like a child? I think certain traits of a child can stand out in a person. Childlike faith, playfulness. I think they’re alright, once in a while in an adult. We must let the child within us come out and play once in a while. I think that to a certain extent helps us to know the difference between an adult and a child.

I don’t think I can find the movies that easily, right?

Anonymous : Harloes!

Adulthood! Everyone from a child to an elder are responsible for their actions, one doesn’t have to reach a certain age to be held liable for his or her actions in the eyes of the Lord. Of course, being an adult means to expound on what we’ve learnt during our younger days - the principles which we hold fast onto, and the values that guide us.

Principles are the lighthouses of one’s life. There are 31 chapters of Proverbs - reading 1 each day that corresponds with the date does a whole world of good :) I’m digressing here, but it’s been a great help to me in my journey of adulthood in the eyes of the law :P Especially the parts that address patience and the folly of impatience and anger.

Here’s a toast to you being an adult! May you continue to shine brightly in the Lord’s presence, and rest in His love and care, and also dispense wise advice to the young people who look toward you as an example of Christ :)

Myself : Hi! And you are? Your comment helped!

Truth : Of course, being an adult means to expound on what we’ve learnt during our younger days - the principles which we hold fast onto, and the values that guide us.

Thank you. Gonna read through Proverbs.

agro : From Agro@kvpug

How old are you David? :-)

Here is a postmodern/existentialist answer: ‘Adulthood’ is whatever you make of it. You can fill ‘adulthood’ with the hedonistic pursuits of self-interest, you can make a difference to your life and the life of others.

If — by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream — and not make dreams your master;
If you can think — and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings — nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And — which is more — you’ll be a Man, my son!

Myself : Oh, I’m 21. Turning 22 in 2005.

Thanks.

zgrat : 1. What is adulthood? Is it a definition that is related to age? Or is it based on something subjective, like maturity or abilities of a particular person?

I think adulthood.. is just a term governing the age group. others treat it as the behaviour aspect of being in that particular age group. Subjective ? yes. the existing values determine how an adult should behave. e.g. accountable, financially, a thinker not a talker, they think using the brain, considerate.

2. How should an adult be like? How should an adult behave? What goes through the mind of an adult? Are there certain rules or guide on the way an adult should think? What makes an adult different compared to a matured young man in train of thought, concerns, and feelings? How do I be an adult?

i guess there is no specific rule to be an adult, most important you must be responsible for your action. the rules/guide is govern by your experience and your BELIEVE which others have fed you. you must decide what is right and what is wrong based on society preference/influence. Adult compare to mature young man. Adult have seen more things… so they can consider facts from many angle. this maybe good but sometime it limits their knowledge horizon. In fact, when you becomes adult, your personal objective will govern your thoughts, cocerns and feelings. i.e. if you have more resposibility and long term commitment, it will drive you towards being cautious, analytical, or if no commitment, you tend to be more relax, chill out, versatile. no particular behavious is right but is just a person goal governing his/her act. How to become adult ? well if you think you are, you are.. but i did learn this from one of my favourite teacher…. Being an Adult is to have a small little kid in you when u needed.

3. How would being an adult change the way things are around me? How would it affect my ministry now? Would being an adult in my situation help?

well…. taking up Master in philosophy may help :) if not… get married and get real!