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The time is 6:21 am. I turn to the other side, close my eyes and try to fall asleep again. It’s hard, when I’ve got a time set to wake everyday.

Once I wake, my mind automatically tunes to the day ahead, the agenda, appointments, tasks. It’s the nature of my job, where appointments and tasks are predominant methodologies of which I function by.

Today, it’s full-on. Here’s my schedule:

0915 - 1330 : Jen Nee & Li Kuo’s wedding
1400 - 1600 : Worship practice
1600 - 1700 : Prayer
1700 - 1930 : Service

If you count the hours, it’s almost like a work day. Sometimes, I work harder on weekends .. than I do on weekdays. The irony, huh?

I complained about having to do too much. I was asked if I was burning out .. and I never did think about it. Though, in that particular conversation, I did put across the underlining reason why I acted the way I did thus .. implying that I am not burning out.

Though I think I would if the leaders of the church don’t manage me properly.

Talent is cheap, but commitment is costly.

- Ps. Julie

I’d rephrase her, and say that talent is cheap, but excellence is costly. Many people function on talent and ability, but I feel that the real anointing lies in the strive for excellence. What’s worse is when people who function on the I-do-just-what-I-can-and-nothing-more mode, expect excellence and extra effort from the rest of the world.

It’s just unfair.

Maybe I’m being unfair in evaluating the person as such by my standards of excellence. I admit, I could be wrong. But it really does say something about someone, to still see the person deal with the same issue for the past 6 months. Ah, fine .. I could be in the wrong position to expect again, but with no expectation .. what’s there to work for?

Ps. Julie’s a great example of a leader. Her actions speak louder than words. And I admire her for that. I let my tongue off sometimes, before my actions can come forth. Eventually, it does come through .. but yeah .. why the talk before action? GAH.

I’m just thinking aloud.

I’m sorry if I haven’t been the most supportive cell member. The fact that you’re still depending on the same people for the past 5 months makes me wanna shoot myself wonder why there aren’t others that are being raised. It’s time someone raised the RED flag. It’s either you, or me.

David[hmm]